"Maybe this weekend we cou- I'M CRRAAAAAAZZZZZAAAAAYYYY!"

When I was little, my parents often requested that I perform a sort of party trick for them and whomever else they wished to witness it. We had had The Addams Family Values on tape, and, me being me, I had been able to, without much difficulty, memorise a short monologue that Joan Cusack performs towards the end of the film. I used to recite it, accent and all. I can still remember it to this day.

DEBBIE: All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie, in her pretty pink tutu. [puts slide onto the projector] My birthday, I was ten, and do you know what they got me? MALIBU BARBIE! 

MORTICIA: Malibu Barbie! The nightmare! The nerve!

DEBBIE: That's not what I wanted. That wasn't who I was! I was a ballerina. Graceful, and delicate! They had to go.

Over the past few days, I have begun to question the appropriateness of the title of this blog. Don't get me wrong, 'Ramblings of a quoteaholic' is at least partially accurate for what this site is all about. Ramblings, definitely. My verbose nature means that there is no way that I can ever be concise and limited in my word count, and even when explaining the simplest of concepts, rambling ensues. But that's not the part that bothers me. It's the 'quoteaholic' part that I'm starting to have a problem with.
Because of being abroad and away from people who know me all too well, I am in a situation, yet again, where I am making new friends, and becoming closer with people that I have been acquainted with, which has been wonderful and fantastic and every good thing. Well, not completely wonderful and fantastic, but that is all my own fault. The same problem that I have dealt with for most of my life has reared its ugly head yet again.
I think a lot of the time I forget that most people don't have the same kind of memory that I have and that most people don't have quotes running through their head most of the day. So, when I let my guard down and stop censoring myself, at any time all manner of "quote refuse" will come spilling from my trap. This is where I think the word 'quoteaholic' falls short, as it's not an addiction to quoting. The whole quoting thing goes beyond even compulsion. The reflex to do it is so normal and natural to me that most of the time I barely notice that I'm doing it. This tends to alarm people, because:

1. They have no clue what I'm talking about
2. They tend to think I'm a little insane (which I am, but you don't like to let people know that right away*)
3. They then think I spend waaay too much time watching TV, movies etc., and have no friends and no life

So yeah, I think in this situation (one that I have faced before), self-censorship is the name of the game. Either limiting oneself to not quoting at all or quoting only things that they are very familiar with. But even that leads me to go a little loopy. I think I need to have an outlet for all of this stuff in my head or else said head will explode. An example: yesterday we were in the park, and we for some reason got into a conversation about people standing waiting for us at the gate. I said something that sounded vaguely like a line from The Slipper and the Rose, and I continued to quote it in my head for about ten minutes ("SO Madam you are returned at last! You wicked girl, how dare you disobey me! Where have you been?" I'll stop there...**)

I think it would all be fine if there was some sort of database hooked up to my brain that was able to monitor and trace all the quotes that float around my cranium, and then everyone could log on to it and see what the fuck I was going on about at all times. See, me quoting these things is kind of like me making a joke, except I'm citing another source.

WOW, this is where the rambling bit comes in. Bet you were expecting this sort of post, were you? Don't worry, there's some clips at the end, just to keep you all happy. But I'll end on this: Please don't be alarmed if I go off on a ten minute tangent that has very little to do with what we were talking about, especially if I do it in a funny voice, because I promise, I'm just quoting And I can't help myself.

Much love. x

--For those who are interested (I SWEAR I've not looked up any of this dialogue):

* MIKE BIRBIGLIA: "I used to think I was unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated. They keep it under wraps at first, but then one day it's just like 'Maybe this weekend we cou- I'M CRAAAAAAZZZZAAAAAYYYY!' and then they blow away like a tumbleweed."

**Stepmother: SO Madam, you are returned at last! You wicked girl, how dare you disobey me! Where have you been?

Cinderella: I only went--

Stepmother: Yes?!

Cinderella: -- to my parents' grave, Stepmother, to put some flowers there.

Stepmother: How touching. With flowers from my garden, stolen flowers!

Cinderella: No!

Stepmother: I say yes. I say you stole them. You are not only a liar but a thief, and thieves we know must be punished. Come! [Drags Cinderella over to the table, covered in vegetables] Here is your place, and there is your task. We are expecting guests for dinner tonight, important guests. And for repaying my kindness with cunning and deceit, henceforth you will not dare to venture from this room without my saying, is that understood?

Cinderella: Yes, Stepmother.

Stepmother: Then make a start. And make amends.

Back to the videos...

I could TOTALLY go crazy to this in a club


Pot... kettle... racist?


My favourite bit from the premiere of a very promising new series


Everyone needs to hear this song, it's amazing


FINALLY... The song/video that I was production assistant for while I was still in Chicago. You have NO idea how many times I had to top up my silly pay as you go phone to get so much of this thing organised!