My Year in Quotes

Goodbye 2009. I'd love to say I'll miss you, but you were kind of a pill.

It's the second day of 2010 and I already have a good feeling about this year. Two thousand and nine got off to a bad start and it set a tone for the rest of my year. This year began in a great fashion, surrounded by copious amounts of booze, music, and friends– old and new.

So, a new year with new experiences, new challenges, and new adventures. But still, one can't help looking back. As I said, 2009 wasn't the best year, so rather than dwell on the negative, let us think about all we've watched, all we've heard, and all we've learned in a year in quotes from ramblings:

january/janvier/enero 2009: from comedian Michael Mcintyre

"Don't get drunk. If you get drunk that's bad. If you're posh, of course, you have a variety of options: you can be trousered, or trollied, or wellied, or rat-arsed! You can actually use any word in the English language and substitute it to mean drunk as a posh person, and it still sounds acceptable. 'Did you have a drink last night?' 'Are you joking, I got utterly gazeboed.' It fits! 'Angus! You're driving– I'm car parked.' 'Slow down chaps, I'm pyjamaed!'"

february/février/febrero 2009: from comedian Dylan Moran

(about Sylvio Berlusconi) "He is fucking crooked he sleeps on a spiral staircase! So thoroughly corrupt everytime he smiles an angel gets gonorrhea!"

march/mars/marzo 2009: from comedian Jason Manford

"The only people wasting water are the ones taking it into space. Where it don't come back. Damn you Aldrin!"

april/avril/abril 2009: from greatest fake MCs on earth, The Lonely Island

"Like a Boss!"

may/mai/mayo 2009: from the film Pride and Prejudice

"I take no leave of you! I send no compliments to your mother you deserve no such attention!"

june/juin/junio 2009: from the film Forrest Gump

"But you ain't got no legs Lieutenant Dan!!"

july/juillet/julio 2009: from comedian Mike Birbiglia

"I'm always embarrassed to tell people I have a blog because everybody has a blog, about anything. People will just be like 'Today I went to JC Penney!' And like, there's one comment: 'JC Penney, eh?' and I'm like, 'that's not a blog, that's a text message.'"

august/août/agosto 2009: Paul Rudd and Jason Segel

"No Gideon! NOOOOOO!"

september/septembre/septiembre 2009: from a comic relief sketch with Armstrong and Miller and Mitchell and Webb

(said in a WWII fighter pilot voice) "Look, this is me being them: 'Ooh, ooh! Look at me, I'm flying a hurricaine. It's a shit plane, I'm rubbish, and my mum goes chippy in her slippers!' That was me being them."

october/octobre/ocotobre 2009: from the TV series Black Books

"Manny I don't feel that well. I feel like I've been beaten up... underwater. I can feel bits of my brain falling away like a wet cake."

november/novembre/noviembre 2009: from the movie Hamlet 2

"I have so much anger. I feel like I've been raped... in the FACE!"

december/décembre/deciembre 2009: from the TV series Community

"Every so often someone will come up to me and say 'Señor Chang, why do you teach Spanish?' They say it just like that, 'why do you teach Spanish? Why you? Why not math, why not photography?' I mean, surely it must be in my nature to teach you something ancient and mysterious, like building a wall that you can see from outer space. Well, I'll tell you why I teach Spanish: it is none of your business. I don't want to have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man I am. I AM A SPANISH GENIUS! In español my nickname is El Tigre Chino! Because my knowledge will bite her face off! So don't question Señor Chang, or you'll get bit. You're bit. YA BIT!"

Much love. x